Nothing can be more exciting for a teen or more frightening for a parent than thoughts that the teen will soon be on the road driving. Teens think of independence, a benchmark of growing older, times with friends, getting out on their own, dates, and being considered among their peers as being cool. Parents on the other hand think of stress, worried moments, money, stress, and more stress. Only occasionally does it seem like it might be a good idea for it would save the parent time if the teen could run errands or drive on their own to a sporting event or part time job.
Before the teen takes off down the road on their own they will have to learn how to drive. This means they need an instructor. Perhaps you wonder if you are up to it. Teaching your child to drive safely can evoke apprehension in a parent. If you follow these tips the whole process will turn out to be a an opportunity to teach your child to drive safely and responsibly which will provide you with confidence in their abilities and hopefully less stress when they do go out on their own.
- Before you ever begin teaching the mechanics of driving it is good to set down rules and boundaries of when the child can drive and have use of a vehicle both now and when they have their license. Set rules concerning use of a mobile phone, an iPod or other music player while driving. Discuss how many people can be in the car at one time. The beginning is the best time to set rules and set out your expectations. Also, be sure to discuss what consequences will be involved if you find any of your rules violated.
- Be patient. You want your child to feel comfortable in saying what fears they have and asking questions of any type. You are the most influential trainer for your child and even if they receive instruction from somewhere or someone else, what you teach will have the most impact.
- Let your child guide the process. If they are very enthusiastic and can’t wait to learn each time then it shows they are ready. If they don’t push to have the instruction then they may be apprehensive and not ready. Discuss this with them and allow them to go at their own pace and feel comfortable telling you how they feel about the process thus far. Just let them know you are available when they are ready.
- Take the opportunity to be a good example. Children mimic the behaviors of their parents behind the wheel. Go through the safety checklist with your child and show them what a safe driver does behind the wheel. Even when you don’t think they are watching keep up your safe driving habits for they see more than you realize.
- When you go out for your driving lesson let them know what to expect. Tell them what you will be paying attention to, what they will be learning and where they will be driving. Take them the same route with you driving it first and then allow them to ask questions while you drive and before they drive the route. Point out the speed limit, special turns and lane changes, and any other particular safety issue.
- Be sure to point out mistakes or errors in a way that does not deplete the confidence your child has in their driving abilities. Instead point out that you are concerned they need more work in this or that area and that you will make an effort to give them more opportunities to fine tune those problem areas. Keep a positive tone when making a correction. Instead of saying “Check your speed or you are going to get a speeding ticket if you drive this fast” ask your child “What is the speed limit?” to make them aware of their speed. Once they correct their speed, reward their observation and pay attention to how well they maintain that skill throughout the driving instruction this time and the next.
- Reward verbally when your child does the right thing and as they mature in their skills behind the wheel. Tell them that they are doing much better in certain areas when they improve. By giving them positive feedback you will install in them the desire to continue to do well.
- Try to not over instruct. After you have pointed out certain driving safety tips such as signaling with enough time or braking gently, do not remind them each time beforehand. Instead take special notice if they are indeed taking your instruction and putting to good use your words. Observing after you instruct will allow you to know how prepared your child is to take on such an important responsibility and what you need to work on more.
- Have set times of when your instruction in the car will occur. It will allow them to prepare and see that you take the process very seriously just as it would be in a more professional setting. Only by putting forth a serious outlook to the instruction can you convey the seriousness of the responsibility that comes with driving.
- Make sure to ask them after every driving instruction time how they feel about their progress. Ask where they think their strengths and weaknesses are at this point in their driving skills. This will give you a good indication of their confidence in their abilities and whether they are truly aware of their own skill level.
- Discuss the financial responsibilities that go with owning a car such as fuel costs, maintenance fluids, tire rotation, and car insurance. Discuss how young drivers car insurance works and what your policy covers. Instruct them on what to do in the case of an accident.
Above all, enjoy this defining moment in your child’s life. Be patient and understand that you have the opportunity to make sure they are as safe as possible on the road as far as their own skills and habits. Don’t rush the process and allow them to learn at their own pace for not all children mature the same. What was right for one child might not be the same for another. Also, be a good example yourself and drive safely and patiently behind the wheel.